New Day | lovehutz's Blog

Well not so freaked out about guys looking at me in town., I guess I never noticed till that young guy kind of brought it to my attention . Then kind of  freaked, but now it is nothing. As for the guy I love I have still let him go. It is so good for both of us. I did n't say he looked at me at the busstop and smiled. Shame I was freaking out I might have smiled back. That was in the middle of everything. I was so confused but not now, I am free from that. The good thing is now we can be friends one day.
     I am not usually that attentive on guys; if anything they can fall over themself trying to get my attention and  I will not notice lol. Cause I grew up with brothers, so I am very comfortable socializing with guys.
This is good to respect this guy, not shy away. I think I accidently looked at him once that was good; he gave very happy friendly look. He understands I'm getting on with things and leaving it totolly. I did n't know I had it in me but then I never have bothered that much lol. Yeach kind of easy for me, considering we did not have a relationship.
     Also I am not grieving as much, and I am happier slowly. That is probably why I can move on as my thinking improves so will my behaviour to some degree; I never said I was perfect though hehe. I am afraid as I my thinking gets better I am less likely to blog my inner thoughts sorry to say or not lol.
  I am not the person I was but then that was not me any way, now I am a mixture. I hope that I can consolidate who I am, I just want to be my true self. I have lost all I love, which has made me more unfeeling at times other times to much emotion. When it first happen it almost sent me backwards but with others I went forwards. But slowly I loose something of myself and I do not know what it is, or maybe I am just remembering who I really am.
My mood: very neutral

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Previous Posts
RIP Pauly Shot NZ, posted November 27th, 2012
I can not beleive what I write, posted November 23rd, 2012
Sad so sad, posted November 9th, 2012
New Day, posted November 4th, 2012
More reflection, posted October 28th, 2012
Reflection on myself, posted October 26th, 2012
No fear, posted October 23rd, 2012
Busstops, posted October 21st, 2012
Expected strange day, posted October 21st, 2012
poor guy, posted October 19th, 2012
Confession, posted October 18th, 2012
Faithful WHY WHY WHY, posted October 18th, 2012
He can not win, posted October 14th, 2012
Not keen to go now, posted October 12th, 2012
Will see him, posted October 11th, 2012

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