New Day | lovehutz's Blog

Well not so freaked out about guys looking at me in town., I guess I never noticed till that young guy kind of brought it to my attention . Then kind of  freaked, but now it is nothing. As for the guy I love I have still let him go. It is so good for both of us. I did n't say he looked at me at the busstop and smiled. Shame I was freaking out I might have smiled back. That was in the middle of everything. I was so confused but not now, I am free from that. The good thing is now we can be friends one day.
     I am not usually that attentive on guys; if anything they can fall over themself trying to get my attention and  I will not notice lol. Cause I grew up with brothers, so I am very comfortable socializing with guys.
This is good to respect this guy, not shy away. I think I accidently looked at him once that was good; he gave very happy friendly look. He understands I'm getting on with things and leaving it totolly. I did n't know I had it in me but then I never have bothered that much lol. Yeach kind of easy for me, considering we did not have a relationship.
     Also I am not grieving as much, and I am happier slowly. That is probably why I can move on as my thinking improves so will my behaviour to some degree; I never said I was perfect though hehe. I am afraid as I my thinking gets better I am less likely to blog my inner thoughts sorry to say or not lol.
  I am not the person I was but then that was not me any way, now I am a mixture. I hope that I can consolidate who I am, I just want to be my true self. I have lost all I love, which has made me more unfeeling at times other times to much emotion. When it first happen it almost sent me backwards but with others I went forwards. But slowly I loose something of myself and I do not know what it is, or maybe I am just remembering who I really am.